Damn, It Feels Good to be a Free Person!
("Sweet Debauchery" just another random picture having nothing to do with this post)

Hellooo kids, I’m back and I have to say that it feels good. Maybe ya didn’t even know that I was gone, hugh? Well yeah, I had something come recently. It was an, ahem…personal emergency as I have been fond of describing it to most. First I just have to say to anyone who may be thinking of starting, or who has started recently their own blog; don’t give your blog address out to just anyone you know. That was a mistake that I have made. If you do that, you’re going to have a hard time writing freely about what you want to for fear that someone may learn something about you that you might not feel comfortable them learning. Hopefully, if any of those that I have shared my blog with read startling things will be cool enough to just cut me some slack and not be judgmental or worse, use it against me. Aww, who am I fooling? Aint no damn person reading this shit anyway…except maybe Danielle. And you know what? If it’s only Danielle who ever reads my blog anyway, that’s fine by me. Cuz we cool like that!

So here I go. Free and open, and not holdin’ back. So I went to jail last week for the first time, and boy let me tell you…it sucked big fat donkey dick! My cell mate was a convicted murderer, and the food is the grossest, most nastiest shit I’ve ever tried to eat in my life. Being locked inside of a tiny cell for 22 out of 24 hours every day really does something to a guy! It’s lucky that I’m not a prideful person, because being in jail is the most humbling experiences you can ever dream of facing. The guards treat you like less than human. They really try as hard as they can to be as mean and intimidating as possible. And you have to take it, because standing up for yourself could cause an infinite number of extra hassles and problems. If you piss them off, they can make your life even more miserable that you thought already possible.

My advice for anyone who might face this problem in the future for the first time: Ask for an inmate manual first thing, and try to become acquainted with processes for getting things done. Don’t listen to “friendly” advice or suggestions from other inmates, because they will talk a bunch of shit, and they most definitely have their own agendas. Also, try not to concern yourself with thinking of ways that you might possibly get out of your sentence or whatnot. It wasn’t nearly as bad after I finally resolved to the fact that I was probably going to have to serve my whole sentence. Trying to think of ways that you might be able to get out is only futile and will cause you extra helpings of gut wrenching anxiety. Just lay your skinny ass on the hard as rocks, cold steel bunk with a paper thin, basically non-existent cushion, somebody calls a mattress, and read read read. That was my only escape.

Oh, also if there is a clock that you are able to see; for the love of Christ, DON’T LOOK AT IT!! Time goes by ridiculously slow, you will never believe it. So what the hell is the nature of this post anyway? It’s the worst, suckiest, biggest piece of shit that I’ve written so far, but I think I’ll post it anyway, just for shits and giggles!
LATE!