The Danger of Being Overzealous With Your Blog 2/20/06

I would like to start by stating for the record, that the following post is intended as fiction. Any similarities to real life persons or identites are completely coincidental. The author in no capacity whichsoever shall be liable for: (A.) hurt feelings, (B.) a bruised ego, or (C.) monetary loss that may result from reading "The Danger of Being..." The author reserves the rights to any and all ficticious characters belonging to story, plot, and subplots of "The Danger of Being..."; and also to those ficticious characters that may appear in said posts thereafter

As I've mentioned before, I work the graveyard shift at my job {in the biz, we technically call it AON (Awake Over Night) shift} Well tonight is the last shift of my work-week schedule; my friday so to say, and not surprisingly, it is the one that I'm the most tired when working it. Saying that to say this; I had all these big plans for this post... a plethora of brilliant ideas and directions, enormous potential for comedic value, and precise yet fluid occurrences of sharp witticisms, et cetera, et cetera. Well it's 4 o'clock in the morning; I'm so tired and pretty much on the brink of collapsing. I'm nodding out more often than a heroin junkie tailgaiting a 'really big hit.' I'm like an exceptional athlete approaching my twilight years, standing stripped, stark naked before God, Jesus, Saint Peter, and the Virgin Mary. Then I'm left completely alone; so as if to give time allowance for absolute and unabated stillness. I am left that way, left in quiet contemplation. "Was it all worth it...this life? And the love that I forfeited? Hardly. Is it all I ever hoped and dreamed it would be? Not really. Would I recommend this kind of life to a close friend or family member? Not a chance."
So back to the critical review of Danielle’s post concerning the expelled fetus…
Yes, we all understand that there are natural (and unnatural for that matter) processes of the human body. Some believe that these processes should not offend or gross us out at all. Those people are right; THEY’RE CALLED DOCTORS!! For the rest of us the sight and examination of an expelled fetus, that is from a miscarriage is some outright sick scary shit.
From this point, I will have to reread the aforementioned post in order to discuss other areas of wrongful disclosure.
3/16/06
Well I read the “Anatomy of a Miscarriage” post to my friend Angie. I told you I would have to share this hideous, frightening, and shocking exploit with another person. You know, just to make sure that it wasn’t just me who was all besmirched from reading this ‘faire le récit’ Hey, at least I’m trying to make it sound a little classy. Substituting a French word or phrase always seems to add class somehow; even if the word meant taking a dump. Well I just spent a totally useless 20 minutes of my time trying to figure out how to say “take a dump” in French (Without the internet of course, I would have found it in a flash.)
By the way, I just want to say that we’re damned lucky to be growing up in a time like the 21st century. The internet is an indispensable tool that I really don’t use for the best of it very much. Downloading porn, chatting, shopping, checking my back account, bills, etc makes up the bulk of my time on the computer. I do like to make mixed CDs for friends and family, but that requires much time and effort and thought and patience. So, unfortunately, I don’t really do that enough.
Hey wait! What the hell happened here? I was supposed to be trashing D’ls post, and I got WAY sidetracked. I don’t know how I do that.
Anyway, back to what I was talking about before. I read “Anatomy of a Miscarriage” to a good friend, Angie. She has enjoyed D’ls blog in the past. I was certain, however, that she would agree with me on the outright profane nature of this sickening little ‘expose’ if you will.
Well, to tell the truth; Angie wasn’t, and actually I wasn’t really that dismayed at the post. For the most part, we cracked up laughing most of time while I tried to read it. But there definitely were some “OH NO! COME ON…THAT’S JUST NOT RIGHT,” and “WHY?!! SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, I KNOW I DIDN’T JUST HEAR THAT!” I think for me; I just can’t get past the picking it out of the toilet and examining it…and the description of how it’s fleshy and similar to chicken fat.” My belief is that most people should just not have to know that. Even now thinking about it, it brings up all these upsetting images in my mind.
Wow, this is amazing; how much I am able to write about a subject that is not even related to myself. It’s almost easier. Maybe, I’ll taylor my blog to be more commentary style rather than personal stuff, that I don’t usually feel comfortable discussing, in the rare case that someone besides D’l reads it. Actually, EVEN with D’l reading it sometimes I don’t feel completely comfortable. And that’s just ridiculous, because she’s always been my bestest friend ever in life and I could always tell her anything. But we live so far away now, and she’s got her whole life going on, and me too. And I feel that there is a different part of me now that she doesn’t really know. Damn, I miss the old days. Like when I could just jet on over to her mom’s and pop’s house to hang out. Or wherever we hung out…with all our friends. We though life was so big then, so overwhelming. The things we thought were so important was so fucking trivial!
To quote Blink 182, “Well I guess this is growing up.”




of mine are becoming moot. For example, I think it's funny how (I wonder if she even knows

Damn, It Feels Good to be a Free Person!
("Sweet Debauchery" just another random picture having nothing to do with this post)

Hellooo kids, I’m back and I have to say that it feels good. Maybe ya didn’t even know that I was gone, hugh? Well yeah, I had something come recently. It was an, ahem…personal emergency as I have been fond of describing it to most. First I just have to say to anyone who may be thinking of starting, or who has started recently their own blog; don’t give your blog address out to just anyone you know. That was a mistake that I have made. If you do that, you’re going to have a hard time writing freely about what you want to for fear that someone may learn something about you that you might not feel comfortable them learning. Hopefully, if any of those that I have shared my blog with read startling things will be cool enough to just cut me some slack and not be judgmental or worse, use it against me. Aww, who am I fooling? Aint no damn person reading this shit anyway…except maybe Danielle. And you know what? If it’s only Danielle who ever reads my blog anyway, that’s fine by me. Cuz we cool like that!

So here I go. Free and open, and not holdin’ back. So I went to jail last week for the first time, and boy let me tell you…it sucked big fat donkey dick! My cell mate was a convicted murderer, and the food is the grossest, most nastiest shit I’ve ever tried to eat in my life. Being locked inside of a tiny cell for 22 out of 24 hours every day really does something to a guy! It’s lucky that I’m not a prideful person, because being in jail is the most humbling experiences you can ever dream of facing. The guards treat you like less than human. They really try as hard as they can to be as mean and intimidating as possible. And you have to take it, because standing up for yourself could cause an infinite number of extra hassles and problems. If you piss them off, they can make your life even more miserable that you thought already possible.

My advice for anyone who might face this problem in the future for the first time: Ask for an inmate manual first thing, and try to become acquainted with processes for getting things done. Don’t listen to “friendly” advice or suggestions from other inmates, because they will talk a bunch of shit, and they most definitely have their own agendas. Also, try not to concern yourself with thinking of ways that you might possibly get out of your sentence or whatnot. It wasn’t nearly as bad after I finally resolved to the fact that I was probably going to have to serve my whole sentence. Trying to think of ways that you might be able to get out is only futile and will cause you extra helpings of gut wrenching anxiety. Just lay your skinny ass on the hard as rocks, cold steel bunk with a paper thin, basically non-existent cushion, somebody calls a mattress, and read read read. That was my only escape.

Oh, also if there is a clock that you are able to see; for the love of Christ, DON’T LOOK AT IT!! Time goes by ridiculously slow, you will never believe it. So what the hell is the nature of this post anyway? It’s the worst, suckiest, biggest piece of shit that I’ve written so far, but I think I’ll post it anyway, just for shits and giggles!
LATE!